Jokes are us

Subjects with Humorous Touch

Re: Jokes are us

Postby DARK TEMPLAR on 07 Nov 2011 18:05

THE DEDICATED, CERTIFIED RESIDENT MADMAN
There is no such thing as innocence in the ZONE, only degrees of guilt.
CAN YOU FEEL THE TRANQUILLITY OF THE ZONE
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
We are shaped by fate, just as we shape it
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
Akir man yamut malak al-mut
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Re: Jokes are us

Postby DARK TEMPLAR on 19 Nov 2011 12:44

THE DEDICATED, CERTIFIED RESIDENT MADMAN
There is no such thing as innocence in the ZONE, only degrees of guilt.
CAN YOU FEEL THE TRANQUILLITY OF THE ZONE
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
We are shaped by fate, just as we shape it
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
Akir man yamut malak al-mut
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Re: Jokes are us

Postby Nightwatch on 19 Nov 2011 20:33

LOl and LOL :D
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Re: Jokes are us

Postby DARK TEMPLAR on 03 Dec 2011 18:45

THE DEDICATED, CERTIFIED RESIDENT MADMAN
There is no such thing as innocence in the ZONE, only degrees of guilt.
CAN YOU FEEL THE TRANQUILLITY OF THE ZONE
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
We are shaped by fate, just as we shape it
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
Akir man yamut malak al-mut
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Re: Jokes are us

Postby rockingmtranch on 04 Dec 2011 16:12

One misty Scottish morn a man was driving through the hills to
Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a huge red-haired highlander
steps into the middle of the road. The man is about six foot
seven and built like a tank. He has a huge red beard and despite
the gale force wind and freezing temperatures, is wearing only
his kilt and his tweed shirt.

At the roadside there also stands a young women. She is
absolutely beautiful, slim, shapely, fair complexion ... heart
stopping. The car driver's attention is dragged from the girl
when the highlander opens his car door and drags him from the
seat onto the road.

"Right, you" he shouts, "I want you to masturbate"

"but ... " stammers the driver

"Now ... or I'll bloody kill you"

So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers and
starts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl on the roadside, this
only takes a few seconds.

"Right" shouts the highlander "Do it again!"

"but ... " says the driver.

"Now!! ... " he bellows.

So the driver does it again.

"Right, do it again" demands the highlander.

This goes on for nearly two hours. The driver has cramps in both
arms, he has rubbed himself raw, and despite the mist and wind,
has collapsed in a sweating jibbering heap on the ground, unable
to walk.

"Do it again" says the highlander.

"I just can't do it any more - you'll just have to kill me,"
whimpers the man.

The highlander looks down at the pathetic heap slumped on the
roadside.

"All right," he says, "can you give my daughter a lift to
Inverness?"
LINUX! Don't fight it. You will be assimilated!
----------------
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Re: Jokes are us

Postby DARK TEMPLAR on 04 Dec 2011 20:02

THE DEDICATED, CERTIFIED RESIDENT MADMAN
There is no such thing as innocence in the ZONE, only degrees of guilt.
CAN YOU FEEL THE TRANQUILLITY OF THE ZONE
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
We are shaped by fate, just as we shape it
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
Akir man yamut malak al-mut
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Posts: 1149
Joined: 16 Sep 2008 07:26
Location: Drifting in an endless haze

Re: Jokes are us

Postby 3040Krag on 04 Dec 2011 23:12

This joke is set in the U.S., but could be tweaked for any country of choice!

A man was driving his Ford pickup truck in Virginia, headed toward Washington, D.C. He ran into a massive traffic jam that extended for miles, as far as the eye could see.

He got out of the truck and saw a man walking toward him and decided to inquire about the situation.

Ford guy: What happened?

Walking guy: Terrorists have taken over the Whitehouse and Congress. They are threatening to douse them all in gasoline and burn them alive unless they receive 100 million dollars ransom. We are taking up a collection to help.

Ford guy: What’s the average donation? How much is everyone else chipping in?

Walking guy: About a gallon, each!
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Re: Jokes are us

Postby rockingmtranch on 05 Dec 2011 16:04

=)) :)) =)) Ah...Monday laugh...all good!
LINUX! Don't fight it. You will be assimilated!
----------------
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Re: Jokes are us

Postby rockingmtranch on 05 Dec 2011 18:46

The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time.
The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The
doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look.

The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the
examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger
under his left giggleberry and told the Midget to turn his head and
cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.

"Aha!" mumbled the doc, and as he put his finger under the right
man-
meatball, he asked the midget to cough again.

"Aha!" said the doctor once more, and reached for his surgical
scissors.

Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on
the left side.

The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with
amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the
midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles
still hurt.

The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and
discovered his boys were no longer aching.

The doctor said, "How does that feel now?"

The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What
did you do?"

The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy
boots."
LINUX! Don't fight it. You will be assimilated!
----------------
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Re: Jokes are us

Postby DARK TEMPLAR on 09 Dec 2011 21:31

THE DEDICATED, CERTIFIED RESIDENT MADMAN
There is no such thing as innocence in the ZONE, only degrees of guilt.
CAN YOU FEEL THE TRANQUILLITY OF THE ZONE
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
We are shaped by fate, just as we shape it
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
Akir man yamut malak al-mut
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DARK TEMPLAR
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Location: Drifting in an endless haze

Re: Jokes are us

Postby DARK TEMPLAR on 13 Dec 2011 19:32

The power of Foamy compels you
http://www.youtube.com/user/jimathers
THE DEDICATED, CERTIFIED RESIDENT MADMAN
There is no such thing as innocence in the ZONE, only degrees of guilt.
CAN YOU FEEL THE TRANQUILLITY OF THE ZONE
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
We are shaped by fate, just as we shape it
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
Akir man yamut malak al-mut
User avatar
DARK TEMPLAR
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Posts: 1149
Joined: 16 Sep 2008 07:26
Location: Drifting in an endless haze

Re: Jokes are us

Postby DARK TEMPLAR on 05 Mar 2013 08:13

Damnation, this thread has been forgotten for a long time.
:weedman: to the rescue
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVZbW3ZL ... RsEhSnUACQ
THE DEDICATED, CERTIFIED RESIDENT MADMAN
There is no such thing as innocence in the ZONE, only degrees of guilt.
CAN YOU FEEL THE TRANQUILLITY OF THE ZONE
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
We are shaped by fate, just as we shape it
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
Akir man yamut malak al-mut
User avatar
DARK TEMPLAR
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Posts: 1149
Joined: 16 Sep 2008 07:26
Location: Drifting in an endless haze

Re: Jokes are us

Postby DARK TEMPLAR on 07 Mar 2013 13:27

THE DEDICATED, CERTIFIED RESIDENT MADMAN
There is no such thing as innocence in the ZONE, only degrees of guilt.
CAN YOU FEEL THE TRANQUILLITY OF THE ZONE
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
We are shaped by fate, just as we shape it
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
Akir man yamut malak al-mut
User avatar
DARK TEMPLAR
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Posts: 1149
Joined: 16 Sep 2008 07:26
Location: Drifting in an endless haze

Re: Jokes are us

Postby DARK TEMPLAR on 03 Apr 2013 12:13

THE DEDICATED, CERTIFIED RESIDENT MADMAN
There is no such thing as innocence in the ZONE, only degrees of guilt.
CAN YOU FEEL THE TRANQUILLITY OF THE ZONE
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
We are shaped by fate, just as we shape it
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
Akir man yamut malak al-mut
User avatar
DARK TEMPLAR
Senior Resident
 
Posts: 1149
Joined: 16 Sep 2008 07:26
Location: Drifting in an endless haze

Re: Jokes are us

Postby Nightwatch on 04 Apr 2013 18:48

:mozilla_smile:
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Re: Jokes are us

Postby DARK TEMPLAR on 14 Aug 2014 12:02

THE DEDICATED, CERTIFIED RESIDENT MADMAN
There is no such thing as innocence in the ZONE, only degrees of guilt.
CAN YOU FEEL THE TRANQUILLITY OF THE ZONE
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
We are shaped by fate, just as we shape it
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
Akir man yamut malak al-mut
User avatar
DARK TEMPLAR
Senior Resident
 
Posts: 1149
Joined: 16 Sep 2008 07:26
Location: Drifting in an endless haze

Re: Jokes are us

Postby rockingmtranch on 16 Aug 2014 14:48

Monkey tea.....hahahaha =))
LINUX! Don't fight it. You will be assimilated!
----------------
Gulf War Vet--2nd Squadron, 2nd ACR, Fort Polk, LA
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Re: Jokes are us

Postby DARK TEMPLAR on 30 Sep 2014 17:18

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sp ... ure_series
Quite humorous some of these, should probably get around to reading those some time.
THE DEDICATED, CERTIFIED RESIDENT MADMAN
There is no such thing as innocence in the ZONE, only degrees of guilt.
CAN YOU FEEL THE TRANQUILLITY OF THE ZONE
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
We are shaped by fate, just as we shape it
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
Akir man yamut malak al-mut
User avatar
DARK TEMPLAR
Senior Resident
 
Posts: 1149
Joined: 16 Sep 2008 07:26
Location: Drifting in an endless haze

Re: Jokes are us

Postby DARK TEMPLAR on 06 Oct 2014 17:39

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-bYW8ES_kk
not the best music to accompany it but pretty neat all the same.
THE DEDICATED, CERTIFIED RESIDENT MADMAN
There is no such thing as innocence in the ZONE, only degrees of guilt.
CAN YOU FEEL THE TRANQUILLITY OF THE ZONE
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
We are shaped by fate, just as we shape it
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
Akir man yamut malak al-mut
User avatar
DARK TEMPLAR
Senior Resident
 
Posts: 1149
Joined: 16 Sep 2008 07:26
Location: Drifting in an endless haze

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