by rockingmtranch on 05 Feb 2010 16:59
The GOLFING NUN.......
A nun walks into Mother Superior's office
and plunks down into a chair.
She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother
Superior. 'I thought this was the day
you spent with your family.'
'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play
golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can.
You know I was quite a talented
golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'
'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your
day of recreation was not relaxing?'
'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name
in vain today!'
'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must
tell me all about it!'
'Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother -540
yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green....and I hit the
drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.
And it's flying straight and true,
right along the line I wanted...
and it hits a bird in mid-flight !'
'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother.
'How unfortunate!
But surely that didn't make you
blaspheme, Sister!'
'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister.
'While I was still trying to fathom what had
happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods,
grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'
'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!'
sympathized the Mother.
'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister.
'And I was so proud of myself! And while I
was pondering whether this was a sign
from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky
and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball
still clutched in his paws!'
'So that's when you cursed,'
said the Mother with a knowing smile.
'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the
Sister, anguished, 'because as
the hawk started to fly out of sight,
the squirrel started struggling, and
the hawk dropped him right there
on the green, and the ball popped
out of his paws and rolled to about 18
inches from the cup!'
Mother Superior sat back in her chair,
folded her arms across her chest,
fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...
'You missed the f*ckin' putt, didn't you?'
LINUX! Don't fight it. You will be assimilated!
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Gulf War Vet--2nd Squadron, 2nd ACR, Fort Polk, LA