On The Road...

[MeanderingBeing]

Observations? Notes? Alright, how's this for ya:

After 12 hours in a car with 3 dogs, a cat, an infant, and 2 very grouchy individuals who have a knack for making stupid shit into huge problems, and loooooove to make things more complicated than necessary, I'm pretty much on the verge of homicidal rampage. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that I'm on the road yet again, an act of cleansing much like the use of ganjika, you all would probably be seeing a post filled with much more anger...

Soooo, anyways, after listening to much bickering (trust me, leave yer family home for yer roadtrips if you can...) over which hotel we should crash in, we finally land in a Ramada Inn outside of denver... You know the first thing I noticed? A crew of black dudes sitting around smoking cigarettes. Now I'm not racist, and I actually have a personal problem with racists and skinheads, which is part of the reason I left Oklahoma, but the shady transactions involving baggies of coke and the prostitutes they are pimping in the hotel REALLY doesn't help their case. But nonetheless, I have no problems with these dudes... I am after all, a druggie myself. Granted... Different drugs... But they are illegal still. But after all this, my uncle has to slip some bullshit racist comment out, as usual... Fucker preaches about how he hates racists, the turns around and says shit like he did...

While flying through Kansas, listening to Robert Johnson, I had spent my time reading about the psychology of the ego, and read Steppenwolf by Herman Hesse... Between what I had read, and my current situation where I lay in a shady hotel wishing that I had not pawned off my rifle in Pennsylvania because someone's lack of self control, I am learning alot about the ego... For one, I find that it is mankinds most beautiful gift, and most dreadful affliction.

Alright, will post more, but for the moment, i'm going to run off for a smoke... Plus I am typing on my phone here...

[MeanderingBeing]

soooo... As i was saying... Ego...

A lot of spiritual leaders throughout the years keep saying tha the ego is pretty much the bad in the human spirit, and while I agree with them 100 percent, I also disagree. I find that the ego is what makes people so unique, so capable of loving with such passion, and so powerful in mind... But on on the same coin, the ego is capable of so much more evil than good. The ego is what identifies with people and causes and other outside sources. The ego is what causes things like racism, nationalism, fundamentalism, and other things many of us find so appalling. But without the ego, there surely wouldn't be artists, musicians, and all of the other things that keep us going in this mad world... As i said, beauty and curse...

I once read an article about how removal of the ego is absolutely necessary for spiritual growth. i disagree... Don't get me wrong, i'm all for conscious revolution and spiritual growth.. But... Well i'll just use an example...

the current dali yama, the modern reincarnation of buddha, or sidartha Quatanama as historians know him, has an ego. And his ego identifies with the people amd land of tibet... So... The world's most spiritiually evolved individual... Has an ego? You will never meet a person so full of love and joy. He sweats happiness... Yet the same curse that afflicts us is afflicting him...

this is partially why i think the ego is necessary for human growth and evolution... I think we shouldn't be spending time trying to kill it... I think we should instead try to embrace and tame our egos... And trust me, i feel that this is the way to go... I feel it in my gut.

on a completely different note, i would like to say how bloody happy i am to be out of oklahoma's oppresive humidity. I can actually stand or sit outside now without my balls sticking uncomfortably to my leg...

[MeanderingBeing]

sorry about the triple post but... Ah hell, you try typing all this on a phone with tiiiiiiiiny little buttons...

So i completely lost my train of thought here, but there a few things i would like say before i rest for more roadtripping...

1: if you really do love someone, you'll accept them for who they are. No bullshit, no snide comments, none of it. If someone you know spends their time making yu feel inferior, trying to change you, or are just simply douchebags because they can't accept yer differences... They are not your freind. In my current life, i am learning that the only family are the people who love you for you. Blood doesnt mean shit. In the end, the only thing that does is love...

2: learn to live without posessions. i've been homeless plenty of times, and you know what? It taught me lessonsthat cannot be learned otherwise... The beauty of nature, the mundane, and most of all: selflessness. It is tough, yes... But the benifits far outweigh the cost.

3: I am getting sleepy...

4: there is no shame in feeling emotion. Apathy, to me, is a sin, not a virtue. Don't let yer pride and ego trick you into thinking you are weak because you cried or showed emotion... Just the opposite is true in reality. You are more of a man if you aren't afraid of how others percieve your emotions.

5: last but not least: Be You. Be Fearless. Stop caring what other people have to say. Stop trying to fit in. A truly selfless person doesn't give fuck about society or opinions, they just be bold and do the right thing no matter what. Move on. Be more. Leave the drama behind, and carve your own path.

and with that, i leave...

ps: plz forgive the typos... I am typing witha bloody phone after all...

[Nightwatch]

MeanderingBeing

Great! Very colorfully written, insightful, easy-flowing/pleasure-to-read. You certainly have had a depth of experience in few short years of a life time; expectaions, disillusions, fun and sorrow... they are the brick and mortar of what makes one a writer. You are on the road, and you seem you're on a good track. Hope so. Keep writing.


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PS: double, triple posts OK, as long as one does not repeat the same thing he posted in the previous post, lol; I haven't seen it happen here in this forum anyway. Sometimes it may be even necessary to do so; like in y post now. As we are considering, opening up a new section, possibly under this Round Table, for various stories, real or fictional, for those that do not fit STALKER game stories. And we may move your observations/stories to this new section, alongside with the non-STALKER stories published by Jamie and Balious as well.

[rockingmtranch]

Thank you Michael. (re: for the elaboration on copyright issues on 100 rads Bar topic) And I like reading your musings Meandering

[MeanderingBeing]

thank you both for the compliments...

Though musings is a bit of an over statement... When i write, its more like taking psycholical poo, with some flavor sprinkled on top...

[MeanderingBeing]

btw... Next trip: going back home in the UK

[MeanderingBeing]

here's a note for you guys...

it should be a fucking law that gas stations have better toilet paper... At least 2 ply... And at least soft enough that wiping doesn't make me bleed.... Cheap fuckers....

[jamie1992]

btw... Next trip: going back home in the UK

And at this point my friend, we shall smoke a few L's and have a few drinks and contemplate upon the shitness of life.

[MeanderingBeing]

Jamie, the only thing shitty in life is gas station toilet paper (no pun intended) and the fact that because I move so much, I can't have a girlfriend for more than a couple months... Goddamn I would kill for a girl willing to go with me... Anyways, everything else in ife is just a challenge to overcome... That's how I look at it anyways.

Another note: I was definitely impressed by Rock Springs and Boulder Colorado... Very beautiful country in the foothills of the rockies, colourful people, lots to do, and more biker and tat shops in single city block than I have seen my entire life. I may have found a future home... Whenever I finally decide to call someplace home, that is.

Now I am up in polution central: Salt Lake City, Utah... Cool place, with a huge variety of peoples and cultures. BUT, I cannot stand the sight of these massive refineries every couple blocks. A half hour hike, and I'm in the quiet Uwenda (or however the hell you spell it) Mountains, but its utterly pointless because all I smell is refined petrol.

But the mountains here are the saving grace. All within a couple hours drive, I could be in the rockies, the wasatch front, uwenda, moab, zion, arches, or red rock desert. If I ever needed to get away from this mad world, I can literally pick any direction to hike or drive in, and disappear within a couple hours.

Another upside to this place is school and the demographic... I may be going to school here for a quarter or two, to finish up my degree in graphic design, or I may simply start going for business or music (still can't decide on that front...), or do both. Once thats finished, this area is a great demographic for opening a gun shop. You know what they say: them mormons love their guns!

But alas, I do not think I'll be opening a gun shop here... I just got here and I already know that this isn't the place for me. This place just has a bad vibe. Actually, I like downtown's energy, but everywhere else here is just... Caged... Sorry, only word that describes the energy here. Everything here just seems... Controlled, sterile, and is like a caged animal...

It seems that I can find work at the air force base here, so i can work with decent pay and great benifits while I am here. Decent enough to work on my tattoos, and finally get my dream bike ... And save up for my next bout of traveling...

So yes, I will be hitting the UK by the end of october soonest, and probably next summer at the latest... After that... Hell,who knows where the wind will take me after that.

[jamie1992]

Anyway, I'mma be waiting for you to hit the UK, we can have a laugh, maybe even find you some female company ey? ey? I kid.....kinda. But yeah man, its awesome you are having a good time, and also damn happy you are keeping in touch so to speak.

Can't wait to read more, keep it coming but for now, take care man, peace.

[MeanderingBeing]

In response to jamies post in the 100 rads bar that may or may not get moved into this thread...

Man, I tell you what. I really don't feel the need to go hunting poon. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I figure I will find someone who loves me just as much as I love them and is willing to travel with somewhere along my travels... And when i find that wonderful woman... It will be a colorful week of crazy sex and romantic outtings Then after that, have romantic outings all over the damn planet

hrm... After I get off the toilet here and get some food in my belly, I might write a bit on that subject...

On that note...
YES, DECENT TOILET PAPER! Whooooooooooooooo!

EDIT: its strange to be sitting on the toilet and hear two of the dogs shagging in the next room over... Come out, and sure enough, Loki ad Sam are adhered to each other and will probably be stuck like that for a good couple hours... Damn dogs....

[MeanderingBeing]

sitting in a greyhound somewhere between kansas city and salina... Bound for chicago, then many other places... I have a beautiful young woman to my right who is nice as hell... My back hurts, i stink, and i've been on q goddamn bus for 2 days... But i am fucking happy! Damned excited too! Plus, you meet all sorts on greyhounds... I find there are only two generalizations to make: complete scumbags, or awesome, kind, humble people with an amazing array of talents... Met a dude playing mandolin! How often do you see that?

tis much fun on a greyhound... Despite the 3 hour delay in denver >>