The Zone's Legacy II

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The Zone's Legacy II

Postby Balious on 06 Apr 2010 22:28

Using the same name as the STALKER story I previously have this story will have ideas from Metro 2033 and STALKER maybe a few other games/films/books. I most likely won't be posting the whole story here as people may come on and read it for free instead of buying it. But I could post a few chapters up if people want me to. People can post their ideas on what the story can have such as a city somewhere with a big mutant living in it or whatever. Anyone can also ask for a character as long as they give me a few ideas of what the character is going to be like.

Here is the story information along with the main characters:
The Zone’s Legacy is about a squad of seven people. They must work together to stop the tragic events that have happened all over the world. The question is can they stop it for the world has chose the mutants to live the world. The world has been split into different Zones. Each is unique in its own way. A few examples are one being complete frozen and covered in snow. Another Zone is a complete desert and is very hot. Each Zone covers a huge part of the world making it hard for humans to live in. The currency in this strange world is batteries. Other items can be used to trade for other items too if they important.

There is a ranking chart of all the humans that have survived long. So those being on the very top will have to be more careful as other humans could be jealous of their ranking. People can normally see the first 1000 in the rankings as it gets updated once a week. The rankings can be viewed by anyone through their PDAs where it will say their ranking and list the 1000. Also cities have them on a big screen.

The squad that is meant to stop the tragic events is called Dragons. Each member of the squad brings unique features to it. Here are the squad members:
Stando ‘Baku’ Jerrin
Jamie ‘Hawk’ Kenin
Taff ‘Psycho’ Lunk
Rashid ‘Grunt’ Herman
Richard ‘Talos’ Jerrin
Jonas ‘Aztec’ Bodak
David ‘Seth’ Anderson

The squad find themselves in terrible dangers as they travel all around the world seeking the truth of what really happened. The squad’s first destination and the true adventure will begin with being outside the city Freewind. Each squad member also has a nickname which will be used most of the time throughout the story. Each Zone has a secret or legacy that must be found out to find out the whole truth of what happened to the world. But there are many secrets to this legacy with no one knowing what happen if it gets revealed.

There are many different factions that were made throughout the world. Most people not being in a faction are known as simply Survivors but there are others known as Wanderers and Loners. Survivors are just a load of people that have survived the start of the tragic events and stay in a safe place hoping they live through it. Wanderers are a few people that travel outside their safe places and explore what happened to their world. Loners are people that do not care for what happens to anyone else but themselves. Loners at first will act neutral to everyone they meet but if they detect any hostile from anyone they will strike first and ask questions later. Survivors are normally neutral to most people apart from the evil factions. Wanderers are generally neutral but will act just like Survivors. Bandits have their own faction as they rob anyone they can. Odyssey is a faction that is willing to do anything to get the world back to normal. Destiny is a faction that is willing to protect the legacies in a Zone as they think it being revealed will destroy the world. Odyssey and Destiny hate each other and try to stop each other. Corruption is a faction that wants to make the world worse and try to study the legacies in all the Zones. Corruption is the major faction in the world right now with the most batteries, firepower and numbers to beat anyone. Legacy is a faction that are willing to bet their lives that the legacy in a Zone is something really important and must study it further before Corruption decide what to do with them. There are even more factions around the world but only a few know what they do.


As I said at the beginning I am open to any ideas given. What characters I could add in, places, factions and even mutants. I post the characters description in the next post.

Noticed it doesn't explain the world well enough:
Basic Information:
The Earth's surface is not breathable due to some toxic/poison stuff meaning Humans must wear gas masks to travel across surfaces. But there are many inside cities that are breathable and people set up defenses. Most of the population however is underground as for some unknown reason they can breath. There have been many mutations causing mutants to roam the Earth underground and on the surface. It also has affected different parts of the Earth as ruins of places that used to be on the surface can be found underground. There are many secrets to be found on what caused the tragic events to force most people to live underground.
Last edited by Balious on 06 Apr 2010 23:03, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Zone's Legacy

Postby Balious on 06 Apr 2010 22:29

Character Information:
Stando ‘Baku’ Jerrin is the main character and who will be speaking through the entire story. He is the leader of the Dragons squad. Being only twenty-four years old people would think he is inexperienced but he has done a good job and keeps up to date on any missions being given. He is American. Stando is a light white skinned man and has short red hair with stubble facial hair and brown eyes. He most of the time wears a black t-shirt with a bulletproof vest on the top and wears black jeans and black trainers. He also wears a grey jacket that he treasures saying his father gave him it. Stando respects his squad and trusts them like they were his own family. Stando cil in shotguns. During the last ranking update he was ranked 12th.

Jamie ‘Hawk’ Kenin is the second main character who will try and fill in the blanks when Stando is unable to. He is the sniper of the Dragons squad. Jamie is nineteen years old and only survived the beginning of the tragic events because he was injured and had to be taken into a bunker underground. He is Russian. Jamie is a light white skinned man with short brown hair, no facial hair and sharp blue eyes. Due to his eyes being very sharp he can sometimes see much further than any other human. Jamie wears a grey military shirt with a black bulletproof vest on top. He also wears a grey military fatigue trousers with black boots. Jamie has lots of talent as he can fix any electronic thing he encounters along with weapons. Along with having the talent to fix anything electronic and weapons he cil in using long range weapons such as a sniper rifle. Jamie enjoys talking with the other members of the squad discussing about the current situations they are in and many other things. Whenever he gets the chance Jamie will drink vodka and claims it helps him concentrate using a sniper rifle. Jamie also knows a lot about different types of weapons. Jamie is open minded meaning he will give different ideas to the squad. During the last ranking update he was ranked 89th.

Taff ‘Psycho’ Lunk is a main character who appears in most of the story. He is the guide of the Dragons squad. Taff is forty-three years old and is the most experienced veteran in the squad and knows his way around the new world. He is Irish. He is a light white skinned man with long black and silver hair, stubble facial hair and black eyes. Taff normally wears a dark grey Kevlar vest, dark grey military-grade trousers, dark grey fingerless gloves and big steel toed boots. On top of that he wears a trench coat which he sometimes covers his entire body with so people don’t see what he has underneath. Taff’s face has only been seen by a few people as he wears a gas mask most of the time with the filter being on one side of the face. Most of the time when the squad sit together eating he would be seen studying maps making sure he knows every single detail it can give. Besides studying maps he sometimes helps Jamie fix some things. Taff does not talk much and is pretty quiet. He does however talk to Stando telling them where they need to go and such. Some people spread rumours around saying that Taff was even more mysterious then the new world they all have to live in due to the tragic events. Taff cil not only being a mechanic to help Jamie and a guide but he also can use heavy weapons effectively. Taff normally carries around a Nagant revolver that he likes to call Snaga. During the last ranking update he was ranked 7th.

Rashid ‘Grunt’ Herman is a main character who appears in most of the story. He is the special operations expert of the Dragons squad. Rashid is thirty-eight years old and is the second most experienced member in the squad due to being able to sneak into anywhere without getting caught and can survive on his own. He is German. He is a dark brown skinned man with curly black hair, some facial hair and dark brown eyes. Rashid most of the time wears a dark green t-shirt, a grey baggy urban camo cargo pants and a grey jacket. When the squad are in safe places Rashid normally takes a nap to rest his eyes or is eating something. When he is on watch he normally eats something hiding it from the rest of the squad even though some of them seen him do it when they on watch with him. Also while he is on watch he normally ends up taking a nap but he seems to instantly wake up when he detects something close by. Rashid most of the time cleans the squad’s weapons if Jamie or Taff aren’t looking at repairing them. Rashid is also considered the joker in the squad as he tries to make jokes out of nothing which normally fail and the squad smacking themselves. During the last ranking update he was ranked 67th.

Richard ‘Talos’ Jerrin is a main character who appears in most of the story and tells an important event later on. He is the second in command of the Dragons squad. Richard is twenty-eight years old who survived by taking his brother Stando to see Jonas. He is American. He is a light white skinned man with medium sized black hair, no facial hair and green eyes. With his green eyes Richard can see in the dark unlike any other human meaning he does not need to use flashlights or torches. Richard normally wears a white bulletproof vest with green camo trousers. He also wears black boots and a grey jacket similar to Stando’s. Richard normally is the first person to comment on another member’s plan saying its bad or good with lists of reasons why. Richard mainly cil in handguns and knives as he can hide them anywhere on his body where others wouldn’t search him. Besides that he is also skilled in martial arts and can win any hand to hand combat he enters. During the last ranking update he was ranked 94th.

Jonas ‘Aztec’ Bodak is a main character who appears in most of the story. He is the hunter of the Dragons squad. Jonas is thirty-two years old who survived after taking Richard and Stando into his underground home that was only slightly affected by the tragic events. He is Ukrainian. He is a light brown skinned man with a bald head and has brown eyes. Jonas wears a grey fatigue shirt along with beige fatigue pants and black combat boots. With the job of hunter Jonas is normally away from the squad getting food supplies for them. He also tells the others if he sees any new mutants. Jonas is childhood friends with Stando so just like Richard he worries about Stando’s safety. When the squad stumbles onto a new area Jonas normally checks out if there are any mutants around or anything worth investigating. Jonas is a talented detective as he’s able to work out everything that happened in an area when someone is murdered. During the last ranking update he was ranked 95th.

David ‘Seth’ Anderson is a main character who appears in most of the story. He is the medic of the Dragons squad. David is twenty years old who admires Stando. He is English. David is a light white skinned man with short red hair and crystal blue eyes. David wears a black bulletproof vest with a black t-shirt on top of it. He also wears black trousers, black boots and black gloves. Being the medic of the squad David is normally quite busy as he checks his medical supplies regularly. David loves nature but is confused by why the world has turned into what it has. He also hates the mutants that nature has chosen to take over the world and replace humans. Besides bandaging any wounds members may get David is talented in using rifles. During the last ranking update he was ranked 37th.
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Re: The Zone's Legacy

Postby MeanderingBeing on 08 Apr 2010 18:47

Balious wrote:David ‘Seth’ Anderson

>>
Had trouble with names?
\:d/
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Re: The Zone's Legacy

Postby Balious on 08 Apr 2010 20:08

MeanderingBeing wrote:
Balious wrote:David ‘Seth’ Anderson

>>
Had trouble with names?
\:d/

I just like the name Seth. I always seem to end up using it as a nickname or something for someone :D
May make another character with their first name being Seth too :mozilla_smile:
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Re: The Zone's Legacy

Postby MeanderingBeing on 10 Apr 2010 07:06

Yeah, but... Seth ANDERSON? In that specific order it seems to me that you're just making a sly move to make me a character... And Jamie "Hawk?" I've no problem with it, but I definitely do think this is funny!!

And beyond that, Seth has red hair, loves nature, and is talented with rifles... I'm sorry! I can't help but wonder! That... and I wear all black clothes all the time (not because I like being goth, but because I like as non-descript as possible with my hair... except I always wear a Jimi Hendrix hat... Because Hendrix is the shiz!) Only difference between me and your character is... I would be rooting for the mutants... as long as they didn't fuck with me or my friends.

but its all good. even if you didn't use me for inspiration at all, and it is all coincidental (that is the bit under the copyright isn't it?) I can still have my chuckles.

Anyways, full speed ahead for you man! I've tried writing books before, but I only have the patience for visual art and short stories. A full novel is beyond me! But I do consider myself pretty good with the english language, so if you need a proof-reader or ideas, feel free to holler... Just remember that I work 60 hours a week and it'll take me while before getting back to you on the proof-reading bit...
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Re: The Zone's Legacy

Postby Balious on 10 Apr 2010 13:35

MeanderingBeing wrote:Yeah, but... Seth ANDERSON? In that specific order it seems to me that you're just making a sly move to make me a character...
and it is all coincidental

I believe it is all coincidental. Seth as I said earlier is a name I like. And Anderson was a name I thought on the spot for a last name on the spot and totally forgot your last name at the time :mozilla_surprised:
Maybe I could just use this and say he is your character 8-[

I currently have three people (jamie being one of them) proof-reading the story for me right now. But having many people do it wouldn't hurt :D
I am always open for ideas though so if you seem to thought of a random one that could be good messaging me is always good :mozilla_smile:
I know that you most of the time are busy and rarely see you go on Steam so I message you on facebook if I do need something :mozilla_smile:
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Re: The Zone's Legacy

Postby Nightwatch on 23 Apr 2010 19:39

The story, at least at this stage, sounds rather rich and colourful. :thumbright: Keep up the good work.
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Re: The Zone's Legacy

Postby Balious on 26 Apr 2010 19:38

Thanks Nightwatch. As what Jamie is doing with his story I got a few ideas into my head. Mainly stories from different people over the world.
My idea of this will be quite different. It will actually be side stories reflecting what the world has done to some places and what happened to part or a whole of a Zone after the main character leaves after revealing its legacy/secret.

Remember everyone I am open for ideas/suggestions on improving the whole basis of the story. Along with if you want to add cities, factions, people and all that.
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Re: The Zone's Legacy

Postby jamie1992 on 27 Apr 2010 03:18

Balious wrote:Thanks Nightwatch. As what Jamie is doing with his story I got a few ideas into my head. Mainly stories from different people over the world.
My idea of this will be quite different. It will actually be side stories reflecting what the world has done to some places and what happened to part or a whole of a Zone after the main character leaves after revealing its legacy/secret.

Remember everyone I am open for ideas/suggestions on improving the whole basis of the story. Along with if you want to add cities, factions, people and all that.


Honestly, copying all my ideas.

Shame on you. :P
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Re: The Zone's Legacy

Postby Balious on 27 Apr 2010 11:06

jamie1992 wrote:Honestly, copying all my ideas.

Shame on you. :P

Don't you remember I can make copyrighted ideas into fresh new ones? :p
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Re: The Zone's Legacy

Postby jamie1992 on 27 Apr 2010 12:27

Balious wrote:
jamie1992 wrote:Honestly, copying all my ideas.

Shame on you. :P

Don't you remember I can make copyrighted ideas into fresh new ones? :p


Technically you are still using my idea as its no different, different chars in different parts of the world. :P MY idea, bitch please. :-bd
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Re: The Zone's Legacy

Postby Balious on 27 Apr 2010 14:13

jamie1992 wrote:
Balious wrote:
jamie1992 wrote:Honestly, copying all my ideas.

Shame on you. :P

Don't you remember I can make copyrighted ideas into fresh new ones? :p


Technically you are still using my idea as its no different, different chars in different parts of the world. :P MY idea, bitch please. :-bd

I gave you credit what else do you want :mozilla_smile:
And I changed it so it reflects off the main story finding out whats happening after the main character leaves. So the parts of your idea is slowly slowly going down :D
But still I thank you for the idea :thumbright:
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Re: The Zone's Legacy

Postby jamie1992 on 27 Apr 2010 18:20

Balious wrote:
jamie1992 wrote:
Balious wrote:
jamie1992 wrote:Honestly, copying all my ideas.

Shame on you. :P

Don't you remember I can make copyrighted ideas into fresh new ones? :p


Technically you are still using my idea as its no different, different chars in different parts of the world. :P MY idea, bitch please. :-bd

I gave you credit what else do you want :mozilla_smile:
And I changed it so it reflects off the main story finding out whats happening after the main character leaves. So the parts of your idea is slowly slowly going down :D
But still I thank you for the idea :thumbright:


Oh bal, you know I don't care man, I'm just pissing with ya, chill. XD

Feel free to use whatever ya want man, I don't mind. :-bd
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Re: The Zone's Legacy

Postby Balious on 01 Jun 2010 00:26

Heres part 1 of chapter 1 for my story. What do you guys think? Im open for any ideas on to improve that paragraph along with knowing if theres any mistakes I may of missed.

Part 1 – A Quick Rest
We were nearing the end of our journey to Freewind. We only have to now walk through a graveyard and climb a tower followed by walking through a bridge and we arrive at Freewind. After going through the tunnels behind us we heard loud roars of dangerous creatures but we had no choice but to have a quick rest as we talked.

We were not far from our destination as we stumbled out of the tunnel. I wiped the sweat dripping down from my forehead.
“Damn that was intense.” I heard Jamie say. I looked up ahead of us checking if I could see Freewind but could only see a strange green mist.
“How much further Psycho?” I asked looking at Taff who slowly walked towards me looking at a map in his hands.
“Just pass this graveyard and through another tunnel that goes up and we at our destination.” He said smiling. I saw David look at him as he sat down by a wall.
“How long is that? You make it sound like it’s just a walk in the park. And that does not look like a walk in the park.” David said. I looked around the area we have arrived in. From where we came from the west is an entrance to a cave that leads back to the tunnel we came out of. The whole area itself looked like we were in a spooky dark cave. We were in a small section that opened up to the east into a big graveyard with a green mist. There were big walls to the north and south of us. There were random piles of rocks that can be sat on as I saw Jamie sitting down on one. I saw Rashid, Jonas and Richard were keeping an eye on the tunnels we came out of as we had been running from some mutants. I turned my attention back to Taff who had stopped looking at the map and looking straight at the green mist. After a few more seconds he pointed to somewhere just ahead.
“There! I see the tower that will lead us to Freewind!” He said.
“Well it’s about time.” David said.
“Does anyone know anything about this graveyard?” I asked. I looked behind me and saw Richard and Rashid moving towards us.
“From what I remember it could be the graveyard of ghosts.” Richard said.
“Looks more like a place where people sleep forever.” Rashid said. Richard whacked Rashid on the head.
“Now that Grunt has his joke out the way I believe Talos is right. Hunters dream of venturing forth onto this place. Not because of all the loot that could be found but because of the danger that lives here.” Jonas said. I turn around to look at Jonas who was still keeping guard looking at the tunnels.
“What do you mean?” I asked nervously.
“It means a mutant none of us seen before lives here.” Taff said. Jonas nodded.
“One that resembles some kind of ghost. I didn’t think we have to get pass this place to Freewind.” Jonas said. We stood there for a while thinking what the next move should be on how to get pass this graveyard.
“Let me get this straight. We are going to walk through a creepy looking graveyard that is full of mutants that we have not encountered before and get to that tower thing over there?” Rashid said. Taff nodded.
“Sounds like fun.” Jamie said. Rashid took out a chocolate bar from his side pocket of his fatigue pants and began eating it.
“So we have no idea on how to deal with some kind of ghost mutant that could possibly be blocking our path to Freewind?” David asked.
“Well I am ready to receive any ideas.” Jonas said. I thought to myself if there was a secret here to be revealed.
“If we going to move I suggest we do it now.” Taff said. I looked at each member as they were all ready to face what could be up ahead. Rashid finished his chocolate bar and got an AK47 from his back. I picked up my Spas12 and loaded it.
“Okay we move slowly at first. Watch all sides and keep an eye out for it. When we reach the tunnel we may have to run. Understood?” I said. Each member nodded and got ready to move out.
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Re: The Zone's Legacy

Postby Nightwatch on 13 Jun 2010 01:43

Cool! :thumbright: I just found time to read the rest of the story. Good work, keep it coming!
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